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The Way Martha Stewart Eats A Bagel Is One Of The Wildest, Weirdest, Most Unhinged Things I've Ever Seen

I truly don't even understand how someone can even THINK of this.

I've seen A LOT of wild ways to eat food in my day, but I have NEVER, EVER seen anything like this.

Tyra would SCREAM, and I'm truly verklempt.

Person with glasses and striped shirt holding a clipboard with a large red question mark, sitting on a couch in a room with a lamp

So, let's talk about bagels. Most people cut them in half, slather on the sauces, and go to town, right?

A toasted bagel spread with cream cheese on a napkin, with a small container of cream cheese and a knife nearby

NOT THIS LADY.

A person in a kitchen prepares a dish, surrounded by ingredients and cookware, with recipe products displayed in the background

The former inmate shared her truly wild way of eating a bagel on Instagram:

Martha does not cut a bagel in half like this:

Bagel sliced unevenly on a plate, showing a large "X" mark emphasizing the uneven cut

She breaks it up into little pieces:

Quarter of a bagel in pieces with poppy seeds on plate, lemon wedge on side. Text reads, "One quarter of bagel broken into little pieces."

And then tops each with a "modicum" of cream cheese.

Plate with small bread pieces topped with cream cheese and poppy seeds, lemon wedge on the side, with text about adding cream cheese

A MODICUM OF CREAM CHEESE.

Bagel pieces topped with cream cheese, scattered with poppy seeds on a plate

Don't even get me started on the lemon. WHAT IS THAT?!

Lemon wedge on plate with poppy seed-topped bread bites and cream cheese

The comments are calling it what it is: UNHINGED.

Comment saying, "This is unhinged, Martha," by user caiferg, posted 1 hour ago

From "I love you but this is crazy"...

Instagram post by eatgaylove saying, "I love you but this is crazy."

... to "Change your password I think your account has been hacked."

Text warning: Change your password, I think your account has been hacked

Martha really woke up this morning and chose VIOLENCE.

Social media post by heyoliviajune: "Love me some bagel rage-bait content."