I Host Constantly, And These 8 Steps Streamline Every Gathering And Help Keep Me Sane

I'm known to give out invitations like candy on Halloween, so I make a physical list of everyone I've invited so I don't end up surprised when a friend walks through my door.

Whether it's on your notes app or a physical piece of paper, having a clear list of who is and isn't coming will save you from scrambling, wondering how many chairs to set up around the table. Once someone RSVPs, I ask them two questions: "Do you have any dietary restrictions?" and "Is there anything you really don't like?" Better yet, use a party platform like Partiful or Posh to help you keep track!

Two days before my party, I like to send out a reminder text just in case someone forgets or has to cancel. I do this before I do the bulk of my food shopping.

Remember those dietary preferences you asked of your guests? This is where they come to play. I use those to help plan my menu. If one person is gluten-free, I might make the whole menu gluten-free so that no one has to worry. I love menus that work as either buffet or family style menus, where everyone can pile dishes onto a dinner plate (this also means fewer dishes to clean!).

As a rule of thumb, I serve one appetizer (usually a dip or grazing board), one to two vegetable sides, one starch, one main, and a dessert. Want it to be even simpler? Make a one-pan meal and a salad; it's all you really need!

When planning my menu, I look for dishes that can be prepped ahead and/or served at room temperature, and won't cost a fortune. Latkes are made ahead and frozen on foil-lined sheet trays, ready to reheat at 400°F for 10 minutes. Sufganiyot dough is mixed and kneaded, then left overnight to rise. Vegetables are chopped and stored in containers in the fridge to add to salads or roasts. This helps ease the stress day-of, allowing me to just warm and plate dishes once it's time to eat.

Psst: You can also buy pre-chopped vegetables if it is within your budget.

While setting your menu, if a guest offers to bring something, delegate an appetizer, side dish, or dessert to them. Don't want to ask them to cook? Ask one friend to bring non-alcoholic drinks, one to bring wine (if you are planning on drinking), and one to bring flowers. I've even asked a friend to bring a treat for my dog. People are happy to help, and sometimes just need a little guidance.

This also helps keep my budget in check. If a guest brings an appetizer, it's one less thing I need to worry about and add to my budget. Not only do they feel good for helping, but it also helps alleviate some of the holiday stress!

The day of your party, no matter how small, will be busy. Not only do I set my table the night before, but I bring out all my serving pieces and determine what dish goes in each one. This way, I have a visual reminder of what the evening will look like, and in case I find myself a glass or fork short, I can quickly borrow one from a neighbor.

If your guests are arriving at 7 p.m., chances are you've been making a mess in the kitchen all day. My tip? Either start with an empty dishwasher that you can load once your meal is done, or run the dishwasher right as your guests arrive, so by the time it's time to clean up, all you need to do is unload the dishwasher and load it back up. 

It would be great to have a clean house, but that's not usually the case in my world. Instead, I focus on the main areas that guests will be in, like the guest bathroom, entry way, dining area, and kitchen. It should be tidy, but doesn't need to be spotless or scrubbed with a toothbrush. Don't worry about scrubbing the stovetop or inside of your microwave. When in doubt, just dim the lights; they're here for the company and food, not a wiped counter.

The same goes for you. While thinking about tidying, always give yourself a buffer to get yourself ready to party!

There's nothing more awkward than a pause in conversation that is amplified by deafening silence. Leading up to your party, start curating songs or find a pre-made playlist for at least two hours longer than you think you need. Consider the guests, vibes, and occasion. Parents coming over? Add some '60s and '70s classics. Christmas party? Make it a classic Christmas playlist. College friends? Turn on those early 2000s bops (wait, am I aging myself?!). This is one of my favorite items to delegate.

Hosting is supposed to be fun. Your friends and family are there to spend time with YOU, so get out of the kitchen, stop stressing, and start enjoying the fruits of your labor. Is something burnt? No problem. They'll tell you it's delicious anyway. And of course, my favorite part about hosting is telling everyone that it's "not my best", and waiting for the compliments to roll in.